It’s been a while since you appeared in my dreams. I thought maybe perhaps you’ve finally found somewhere you could call home. But you visited just yesterday and I’m glad you did. The dream took place in a school. Your school, in fact. I’m always amazed at how much I could remember in the dreams where you appeared. Maybe it’s the fact that I really miss you and I really treasure the times we spent together, even when you aren’t physically around anymore. Maybe it’s my way of coping with the loss of you. Maybe it’s the fact that I really, really wished that you were still around. We were extremely close friends and I’ll admit, I’ve never let anyone get as close as I let you. It’s probably my way of preventing the same feelings of loss with someone else.

I dreamt that we attended a dinner event at your school, CHIJ. We were seated together with a group of people at the foyer right outside the school building. Your friends or mine, I really couldn’t tell. But all that mattered was that you were there with me. We ate, we laughed and we chatted like usual. It was almost like the good old times. When an interlude came, we decided to sneak away together, someone where no one could find us, yet we could still see what was happening at the dinner table. We decided that the loft overlooking the dinner venue was the perfect spot. We ran up the stairs together and honestly, it was one of the few times when I felt really free, where the worries of the world did not matter at all. We sat facing each other, our feet touching and we chatted, laughed and gossiped about the others. I remembered the way you smiled so innocently. If only you knew what the future held. I would always remember your smile. It always made me feel like nothing else mattered at all. Maybe it was your positivity that rubbed off on me. You were always carefree, living life to the fullest. I had never ever seen a frown on your face before. And I would always do my best to live life like how you lived yours. “Happiness is a state of mind” you would always tell me. It is something I have always remembered, till now. I’ve always tried to live up to that statement, but frankly, my life is probably at its worst stage right now. Would it be why you decided to visit in my dreams? But that’s a story for another time. I’m glad you visited. It was the motivation I needed to keep living what you could have lived and your wish for us. That’d we be happy together, forever. I didn’t forget. It’s just really hard at times.

We chatted till the sun rose. When you said you had to leave. I was devastated but you never really stayed past the sunrise. I guess this time was no different. I threw tables around; I was frustrated that you won’t be around for much longer. I guess I never did really overcome the feelings of sadness when you always had to said goodbye. I hope well meet again. Soon.